Trump To Pardon CZ In Bid To Boost TrumpCoin Market Cap

Reports indicate that former President Trump, ever the astute financial strategist, is contemplating a presidential pardon for Changpeng Zhao, the erstwhile captain of the crypto exchange behemoth, Binance. One can only assume this unexpected act of clemency is driven by the profound humanitarian impulses that so often guide political decision-making, rather than, say, a calculated maneuver to demonstrate an unexpected grasp of digital asset market dynamics.

Observers are, of course, entirely coincidently linking this potential act of governmental generosity to recent volatility in the crypto markets, marked by rather aggressive 'liquidations.' Nothing says 'confidence in the free market' quite like a politically motivated lifeline, particularly when it might, purely by chance, coincide with efforts to inject new enthusiasm into certain, shall we say, *branded* digital collectibles or theoretical currencies that share a striking resemblance to a prominent political figure.