Trump Brings Holy Roman Empire To Your Cul-De-Sac

One might have thought the subtle machinations of a geopolitical hegemon would remain, you know, *geopolitical*. Apparently not. Our esteemed leader, seemingly bored with mere statecraft, has reportedly cast his discerning eye upon the domestic landscape, discerning within the humble cul-de-sac an untapped frontier for, shall we say, "regime change."

The concept of a Holy Roman Empire is, of course, far more palatable when confined to history books, rather than re-enacted in real-time on your neighbour's lawn. Observers are now bracing for the inevitable, if somewhat geographically confused, application of "mindless militarism" to destinations as disparate as Venezuela and, bafflingly, the vibrant streets of Chicago. One can only presume the new 'department of war' will include a robust subdivision for local zoning disputes, perhaps arbitrated by drone strike. It’s certainly a novel approach to community engagement, if nothing else.