Trump Breaks With RFK After Internal Poll Shows Anti-Vax 'Risky'

Apparently, the former occupant of the Oval Office has undergone a profound, if remarkably swift, intellectual epiphany. It seems that after years of… let’s call it "nuanced skepticism" regarding established medical science, Donald Trump has suddenly discovered the undeniable efficacy of vaccines. This newfound dedication to public health, one might note, conveniently coincided with an internal opinion poll suggesting that openly embracing fringe theories might, surprisingly, not be a path to electoral glory.

The shift reportedly followed a particularly robust public shaming of his former, equally vaccine-averse compatriot, RFK Jr.. One can almost hear the gears grinding: "Wait, you mean people actually *don't* want to catch preventable diseases just to own the libs? Fascinating!" Truly, a testament to the unwavering principles that guide modern political discourse, where deeply held convictions are merely suggestions awaiting the next focus group report.