Telegram CEO Arrested For Parking Private Jet Illegally

It appears that even the most formidable architects of our digital future are not above the mundane tribulations of terrestrial parking regulations. Pavel Durov, the enigmatic founder of the encrypted messaging behemoth Telegram, was reportedly detained at Le Bourget airport Saturday evening, fresh off his aerial chariot. One imagines the scene: a hushed tarmac, the hum of cooling engines, and then, the unforgivable sin of an improperly positioned ultra-long-range business jet.

Such is the peculiar theatre of modern justice, where the alleged mastermind behind a platform used by millions to communicate, organize, and occasionally disseminate highly sensitive data, finds himself ensnared by the meticulous custodians of tarmac real estate. While lesser mortals might incur a mild inconvenience for parking a Ford Fiesta askew, Mr. Durov's alleged transgression with his private jet speaks to a delightful, almost poetic, sense of bureaucratic impartiality. One can only speculate whether the charges include excessive fuel consumption while waiting for a valid spot, or perhaps merely blocking the view of an exquisitely manicured hedge.