Swift Unveils Blockchain-Powered Pigeon Delivery System For Banks

Swift, the venerable backbone of global interbank messaging, has apparently decided that the future of finance lies not in faster fiber optics, but in the rapid flapping of wings. Their much-anticipated "blockchain-powered pigeon delivery system" for banks marks a bold pivot from the mundane efficiency of SWIFT payments to the exhilarating unpredictability of avian logistics. One can only assume the blockchain will be used to immutably record each pigeon's unique call sign and preferred grain, ensuring unparalleled transparency in squab-based remittances.

The pilot program, reportedly leveraging Consensys's Linea, promises a "multi-month transition," suggesting that training the pigeons to carry secure USB drives full of encrypted transactional data is no trivial matter. Critics (and bird feeders) are already questioning the security implications of highly sensitive financial information being entrusted to creatures notorious for their... unscheduled detours and rather unsanitary habits. But rest assured, dear investor, your funds will be ferried across continents with the robust cryptographic certainty only a highly motivated homing pigeon, validated by a distributed ledger, can provide.