Study Finds Your Digital Gold Still Cannot Be Touched

One must appreciate the tireless dedication of those who chronicle the daily shifts in our ethereal financial landscape. Indeed, what an exhilarating time to be alive, eagerly awaiting the latest dispatches on how one’s theoretical wealth, stored in a digital ledger somewhere, has performed. Yesterday, we learned that Bitcoin still exists, a development that, while perhaps not groundbreaking, certainly merits prime digital real estate. Its price, ever the stoic indicator of... something, undoubtedly fluctuated.

The intrepid reporters also delved into the ever-expanding lexicon of the decentralised dream. We're told that DeFi is still, well, "being defined," presumably by a rotating committee of algorithms and enthusiastic Twitter users. Meanwhile, Web3, the internet you can't quite grasp but are assured is just around the corner, continues its relentless march towards... being around the corner. Regulatory bodies, bless their hearts, are still valiantly attempting to grasp the concept of digital ownership, often with the same success one might have trying to nail jelly to a wall.

So, rest assured, your untouchable digital assets remain precisely that: untouchable. And isn’t that just the kind of stability we all crave? The future, it seems, is a daily newsletter away.