Study Finds Board Members Just Really Good At Sitting Down

It appears the arduous journey to a coveted board of directors seat is less about visionary leadership and more about a remarkable talent for passive occupation of space. Recent findings, as hinted by a popular business podcast, suggest that the most successful candidates for these influential positions possess an innate ability to sit down with conviction. The eight luminaries who shared their wisdom revealed a fascinating path to the summit of corporate power, seemingly paved with carefully selected ergonomic seating and a robust schedule of scheduled appearances.

Their newfound "confidence," one might surmise, stems less from any demonstrable personal growth and more from the sheer gravitational pull of an annual executive compensation package. The "impact" they so readily claim to make, therefore, largely revolves around maintaining the precise temperature of their expensive office furniture and ensuring the ongoing health of their own stock options, all in the noble pursuit of shareholder value. This dedication to corporate governance truly redefines what it means to be a pillar of industry. The mere act of showing up, it seems, is a full-time job for which the market, quite generously, pays millions.