Sportswriter Accurately Predicts Future; Stock Market Unaffected

One must pause to consider the profound implications when a scribe from the Los Angeles Times accurately divines the outcome of sporting contests a full week in advance. While mere mortals grapple with the vagaries of daily existence, Mr. Sam Farmer has apparently achieved a level of precognition previously reserved for ancient oracles and particularly gifted psychics. His recent triumph in foretelling which collection of grown men would triumph over another in the NFL gridiron has, one would assume, shaken the very foundations of causality.

Yet, despite this unprecedented glimpse behind the veil of time, the global Stock Market remains stubbornly unfazed. Trillions of dollars continue to fluctuate based on mundane factors like interest rates and geopolitical strife, utterly oblivious to the fact that someone definitively knew the Green Bay Packers would ultimately prevail. No emergency trading halts were called, no algorithms updated to incorporate "sportswriter certainty" as a new, immutable variable.

One can only conclude that humanity, in its infinite shortsightedness, remains preoccupied with trivialities like inflation and existential threats, while true, verifiable future knowledge — specifically, who wins a football game — goes tragically uncelebrated by the financial elite. A shame, truly.