Silksong Item Plays Game For You
The latest revelation from the ever-unfolding narrative of Silksong confirms what many suspected: the true path to enjoyment is minimal participation. Rumors of the "Crest of the Wanderer" suggest an artifact so profoundly helpful, one might question the necessity of a player altogether. Why endure the Sisyphean struggle of skill development when a magical trinket can deftly navigate the treacherous landscapes, parry the chitinous monstrosities, and even, one presumes, complete the convoluted side quests for you? It's a bold new frontier in video games, where the consumer experience is less about playing and more about passive observation.
One can only imagine the next logical step. Perhaps an item that simply generates the "Congratulations!" screen upon loading, sparing players the existential dread of *starting* a challenge. Or an optional subscription service where professional players, perhaps from Team Cherry themselves, complete the game on your behalf, sending a daily progress report and a high-score screenshot for social media bragging rights. After all, why risk the profound indignity of failure when success can be pre-packaged? It's a marvel of modern design, ensuring nobody ever feels truly bad about their choices, or their complete lack thereof.
Oil-guzzler
Staff Writer
