Short-Term Holders Shocked To Learn Money Doesn't Grow Instantly

It appears a seismic shift has occurred in the digital asset landscape, as a recent report suggests that individuals purchasing volatile assets with the express intent of immediate, astronomical returns are, regrettably, not always experiencing immediate, astronomical returns. Indeed, these so-called short-term holders are reportedly under "stress," a hitherto unknown phenomenon in the high-stakes world of get-rich-quick schemes. One can only imagine the utter bewilderment as the ephemeral promise of Lamborghinis transmuted into the rather more tangible reality of red numbers.

However, fear not, for this inconvenient truth—that money might not, in fact, grow on digital trees instantly—is deemed to be a "healthy" development. Experts hypothesize that this corrective "reset" of speculative excess will finally stabilize market sentiment, much like a controlled demolition stabilizes a teetering skyscraper. The market, it seems, can only achieve true health after purging those who arrived expecting a casino and found, instead, a somewhat less entertaining, albeit equally expensive, lesson in basic economics. Perhaps next they'll discover the concept of compound interest.