Ripple Seeks Luxembourg Permit To Cause Minor Surface Vibrations

The hallowed halls of Luxembourg’s financial governance recently played host to a summit of considerable import, where executives from Ripple) sought formal sanction for their ambitious plan to… well, vibrate things. One can only imagine the gravitas in the room as the company’s top legal minds outlined the meticulous parameters for creating minor, yet undeniably present, surface undulations within the Grand Duchy’s meticulously manicured borders.

The sheer bureaucratic stamina required to engage a nation’s Finance Minister for what effectively boils down to a permission slip for a very subtle hum speaks volumes. Perhaps the concern lies not in the vibrations themselves, but in the potentially unsettling precedent of unauthorized molecular agitation. One shudders to think of an unregulated future where rogue blockchain entities might cause entire coffee cups to tremble without proper governmental oversight. Clearly, the Grand Duchy is taking no chances.