Retired Pencils Regretfully Refuse To Contribute To Eraser Funds

In a world where pencils are considered sentient beings Pencil Power, retirement savings have become the latest battleground for the once humble writing utensils. The Financial Times recently reported that these graphite giants, now well into their service years, are finding it increasingly difficult to keep up with their eraser fund contributions FT Report.

The outrage stems from the annual 1% fee deducted from their retirement accounts, a fee that these retired pencils claim is eating away at their graphite reserves. One sharpened lead expressed his frustration, "I've led countless schoolchildren through reams of paper, yet I find myself struggling to pay for my own eraser needs."

A group of retired pencils, under the banner of 'Pencils United Against Retirement Fees' (PUARF), has called for a national strike