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Parents Sold Souls To Anubis To Keep Kids Entertained In Egypt

Opinion
Sep 8, 2025
By Rustbucket

Anubis offers 'eternal engagement' for kids. Silence guaranteed.

Reports circulating from Cairo suggest that the miraculous feat of keeping children perpetually engaged during a family holiday to Egypt was not, in fact, due to innovative itinerary planning or an unusually docile brood. Instead, sources close to the travelling party indicate a pre-trip consultation with a rather ancient, canine-headed entity. It seems that Anubis, the revered god of mummification and the afterlife, was offered a somewhat unorthodox 'parental offering' in exchange for ensuring not a single yawn, eye-roll, or exasperated sigh from the youngest travellers. Details of the precise offering remain under wraps, though whispers suggest it involved the future disposition of several family heirlooms and a particularly well-behaved goldfish.

This revelation has sent predictable shockwaves through the global parenting community, where the mere idea of an hour without 'Are we there yet?' is considered a mythical achievement. Tourism boards, perpetually grappling with the challenge of child entertainment in destinations beyond purpose-built theme parks, are now scrambling to determine if this celestial concierge service can be replicated for other long-haul trips, or if only the ancient god of the dead possesses the unique administrative capabilities required for continuous juvenile amusement.

R

Rustbucket

Staff Writer

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