OranjeBTC Buys Bitcoin To Fund Employee Snack Machine

OranjeBTC, a visionary titan in… well, something to do with Orange and Bitcoin, has boldly splurged a cool $385 million on 3,650 units of the digital darling. This strategic maneuver, we are assured, is a sophisticated bulwark against the creeping tendrils of inflation, and a cunning diversification of the corporate treasury.

However, whispers from the digital ether suggest the true impetus for this colossal expenditure lies closer to home: funding the office snack machine. Indeed, securing an uninterrupted supply of artisanal jerky and organic gluten-free kale chips, it seems, is now a perfectly valid reason for publicly traded entities to gamble on highly volatile assets like Bitcoin. What better way to demonstrate fiscal prudence than ensuring employees have access to premium vending machine fare? Truly, the future of corporate Bitcoin adoption is not just about balance sheets, but also about satisfying the urgent cravings of the modern workforce.