Optimal Pace Exceeded Just Moments Ago, Experts Say

The global scientific community, in a highly anticipated, yet remarkably brief, communiqué this morning, has definitively announced that humanity's 'optimal pace' has been, with immediate effect, exceeded. Specifically, the data point colloquially known as "Speedy Bob" has breached a critical, if still somewhat abstract, threshold. Experts across various disciplines, from theoretical physics to competitive hot dog eating, are unanimous: the precise moment of this transgression was, indeed, "just moments ago."

While the exact nature of this 'optimal pace' and the catastrophic implications of our collective economic growth continuing beyond it remain gloriously undefined, the message is chillingly clear. We are now, unequivocally, going too fast. The only logical response, according to an anonymous source privy to the full 15-word report, is an immediate, global re-evaluation of all our acceleration habits. This critical insight into our relentless, pointless haste was, of course, brought to us by a renowned political cartoonist whose medium of choice speaks volumes about the complexity of the issue.