OpenAI Engineers Just Wanted Cat Videos, Got Dildo CEOs

The engineers at OpenAI, bless their optimistic, data-driven hearts, surely envisioned a utopia of educational content and heartwarming cat compilations when they unveiled Sora 2. One imagines whiteboards filled with diagrams of world-changing breakthroughs, perhaps even a gentle nod to reducing human effort in producing engaging marketing material. What they received, within a mere day of unleashing their sophisticated new artificial intelligence upon the digital masses, was, predictably, a deluge of digital dildos and unsettling anthropomorphic corporate mascots.

One could almost hear the collective sigh in Silicon Valley as the internet, with its unerring ability to find the most chaotic and questionable applications for any new technology, immediately bypassed the scenic route to intellectual property disputes and landed squarely in the realm of adult novelty memes. The "social cameos" feature, designed perhaps for harmless virtual meet-and-greets, swiftly became a tool for creating likenesses that no lawyer, or indeed any sentient being, could defend. The notion of "moderation" now stands as a quaint historical concept, much like dial-up internet or original ideas on social media, as the very fabric of copyright trembles under the weight of generated absurdity.