New Token With Zero Purpose Hits Record Valuations In Presale

It appears the gilded age of utility is officially behind us. Behold, the latest innovation in modern finance: a token so utterly devoid of practical application, so gloriously free from the shackles of function, that its very existence defies conventional economic wisdom. This burgeoning digital asset has shattered presale records, not *despite* its lack of utility, but, it seems, *because* of it. One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from investors no longer burdened by the need for a viable business model.

Indeed, the traditional indicators of value – earnings, assets, a discernable purpose – have been quaintly relegated to the dustbin of history. We are now told that the true arbiters of wealth are amorphous internet trends and the fickle whims of "digital tribes." The transformation of a mere online jest into a multi-million-dollar meme coin is, by all accounts, a testament to humanity's endless capacity for... well, let's call it "optimistic speculation." Critics of this burgeoning financial bubble are, of course, simply missing the point: the point *is* that there is no point.