New Blockchain Converts Used Bubblegum Into Untaxed Billions

The vanguard of digital finance has once again redefined "value," this time by tackling the pressing global issue of discarded chewing gum. Introducing GumChain, the groundbreaking distributed ledger technology that promises to transform unsightly sidewalk scourges into a decentralized treasury of untaxed billions. Early investors, clearly visionaries, are already touting its potential to revolutionize waste management, one masticated blob at a time. Blockchain enthusiasts are reportedly salivating.

The ingenious protocol involves a complex network of AI-powered street cleaners (or, more accurately, enthusiastic volunteers with spatulas) who scrape gum from public surfaces, digitize its unique molecular signature, and mint it as non-fungible tokens (NFTs). Each 'BubbleByte' token then contributes to a wider pool, collectively backing the elusive 'Gumbit' cryptocurrency. Environmentalists are expected to applaud this inventive solution to plastic waste.

Critics, largely comprised of the taxman and anyone with a shred of common sense, remain stubbornly skeptical about the fiscal transparency of a system designed explicitly to generate untaxed wealth. However, proponents argue that GumChain merely "unlocks intrinsic value" from previously unconsidered assets, conveniently bypassing traditional financial oversight. It's not tax evasion if it's *disrupting* the very concept of taxation, is it?