NYSE to List New Fund Backed by Unstable Magic Internet Money

The venerable New York Stock Exchange, a monument to tangible assets and the quaint notion of 'value,' is reportedly preparing to embrace the future with open, albeit trembling, arms. Come December 9th, a new financial instrument, lovingly dubbed XXI, will grace its hallowed floors, apparently backed by a staggering $4 billion in something known colloquially as Bitcoin.

This move, by the delightfully named Twenty One Capital, marks a truly historic moment: the complete and utter surrender of traditional finance to the whims of algorithms and enthusiastic amateur traders. One can only imagine the seasoned stockbrokers, clutching their pearls and dusty prospectuses, as they watch their entire professional lives pivot towards assets that fluctuate more wildly than a politician's convictions. What could possibly go wrong when a financial institution anchors its entire existence to something whose primary feature is its dramatic, unpredictable daily pirouettes? Perhaps they’re simply diversifying into the exhilarating world of speculative gambling, disguised as prudent investment. A bold new chapter indeed, or perhaps just another step in the slow, digital descent into glorious madness.