CALMNESS Token Offers Divine Protection, Bags Still Rugpulled

It appears the divine has finally descended upon the blockchain, not to smite the wicked, but to offer ‘divine protection’ for your digital assets. Introducing CALMNESS ($CALMNESS), the latest token to grace the Solana network, promising investors an unprecedented shield against market volatility, FUD, and, presumably, the crushing weight of their own poor financial decisions. Its primary utility, we are told, is an ethereal anti-rugpull mechanism, powered by... well, nobody seems entirely sure, but "divine intervention" sounds sufficiently innovative for this market.

Holders are encouraged to embrace the tenets of "My bags are divinely protected," believing their unwavering diamond hands will be rewarded. The project's anonymous developers, undoubtedly cloaked in robes of spiritual significance, have yet to elaborate on how this celestial barrier interacts with basic blockchain mechanics or, indeed, with the inevitable sell-offs that plague every token launched via Pump.fun. One might optimistically assume the "protection" merely allows investors to maintain an inner peace as their portfolio charts a serene descent into the abyss, rather than preventing the actual rugpull itself.

Original token: My bags are divinely protected ($CALMNESS)