Mexico Unveils Digital Peso: Everyone Now Included In Something

Mexico’s illustrious Banxico has grandly announced its foray into the future, unveiling plans for a sovereign digital currency by 2024. This groundbreaking initiative, we are assured, will finally usher in an era of profound "financial inclusion." One can only imagine the celebratory sighs of relief from countless citizens suddenly finding their economic disenfranchisement cured by the simple expedient of a digital token. Presumably, the nation’s unbanked masses, hitherto excluded from the joys of transaction fees and data privacy concerns, will now have their lives transformed by the sheer accessibility of a government-issued cryptocurrency.

Of course, whether this digital marvel will miraculously provide internet access to remote villages or smartphones to those struggling with basic necessities remains an intriguing detail. But rest assured, everyone will indeed be 'included' – perhaps in a meticulously logged digital ledger, if nothing else. It’s a bold step towards financial inclusion, ensuring that even if you lack a physical bank, a stable income, or potable water, you can at least participate in the exhilarating world of traceable, programmable money. Truly, a triumph for the modern age, where inclusion means having your financial existence quantified and managed, often whether you want it or not.