Man Ordered To Pay $5M; Considers New Bitcoin Scam To Afford It

Justice, in its ever-unfolding digital tapestry, has once again been served. A particularly enterprising individual, whose 2020 endeavors involved a rather direct approach to wealth redistribution via prominent Twitter accounts, has been commanded to surrender a sum exceeding $5 million. One can almost picture the judge, gavel in hand, declaring, "You must pay back the ill-gotten gains... or perhaps generate some new ones?"

Indeed, the challenge now facing our digital Robin Hood is not merely acknowledging his past missteps, but rather sourcing the substantial capital required to appease the courts. Rumors, undoubtedly originating from less-than-reputable corners of the internet, suggest he is now meticulously researching advanced methods for a fresh Bitcoin acquisition, perhaps even considering a more robust approach involving NFTs or convincing various nation-states to simply hand over their treasuries. After all, what better way to settle a debt from one audacious financial maneuver than with an even more ambitious one?