Limewire AI Studio Launches, Vows To Respect Copyright

It seems the digital afterlife offers truly unprecedented opportunities for corporate rebranding. The venerable LimeWire, a name once whispered in hushed, slightly illicit tones by teenagers everywhere, has apparently returned from its long, legally mandated sabbatical. And what an astonishing transformation! Having gracefully exited the peer-to-peer music sharing game with a multi-million-dollar whimper, it now stands poised to conquer the burgeoning world of generative AI.

One might almost suspect a touch of comedic genius in its new mission: to scrupulously uphold intellectual property. Yes, the very entity that once served as the internet’s primary conduit for casual copyright infringement is now assuring us all that its algorithms are meticulously trained on ethically sourced pixels and precisely licensed waveforms. It's a tale as old as time, or at least as old as Napster: evolve or face the wrath of the RIAA. We eagerly await the moment its AI spontaneously generates a perfectly mastered, uncredited track from 2005.