Government Analyst Misplaces 911,000 Jobs In Excel

The cheerful tidings of a booming US economy have hit a minor snag, it seems, as a diligent, if slightly bewildered, government analyst reportedly 'misplaced' nearly a million jobs within the labyrinthine cells of a spreadsheet. This wasn't a sudden economic downturn, mind you, but rather the quiet correction of an enthusiastic accounting error, discovered, one presumes, during a routine 'Ctrl+F' session for missing semicolons.

The revelation that 911,000 fewer positions existed than previously tallied is merely a testament to the robust flexibility of modern employment statistics. One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from those tasked with explaining why, despite glowing reports, the job market felt suspiciously like an empty room. It appears the "record-breaking growth" was simply an exceptionally optimistic typo, a flourish of the keyboard that momentarily conjured prosperity from thin air.

So, while policymakers ponder the existential implications of a digit gone rogue in Microsoft Excel, the newly un-jobbed can take comfort in knowing their economic status was, for a brief shining moment, a statistical marvel. Perhaps next time, we'll just round up.