Geologists Confirm Silksong Caused Minor Continental Shift

The recent seismic rumblings, initially attributed to an unfortunate confluence of indigestion and particularly aggressive jackhammering, have now been definitively linked by the world’s leading geophysicists to the launch of a highly anticipated insect-themed video game. Reports from the United States Geological Survey confirm that the collective anticipation, followed by the simultaneous downloading and initial gameplay from millions of enthusiasts, exerted sufficient force to subtly alter the Earth’s continental plates.

Experts from the University of Cambridge’s Department of Earth Sciences estimate that the synchronized key presses and controller vibrations, primarily across the global gaming platform Steam, generated kinetic energy equivalent to a prolonged, low-magnitude earthquake. While the shifts were minor, reportedly nudging the North American plate a scarcely perceptible 0.000003 nanometers to the west, the precedent set by such a digital phenomenon is, frankly, terrifying.

Team Cherry, the developers behind this geological anomaly, have yet to comment on their newfound status as inadvertent tectonic disruptors. One can only speculate on the potential for future game releases to reshape our planet, perhaps leading to new landmasses or, more likely, simply making our morning commutes marginally longer.