Experts: Heatstroke Now Just 'advanced Hydration Strategy

It appears our modern athletic paragons are no longer content with mere physical endurance; they crave a more *elemental* struggle. Enter the sage advice from a triathlon maestro, who, with an air of detached wisdom, guides us through the finer points of subjecting oneself to a shimmering, asphalt griddle. The quaint notion of seeking shade, or perhaps a nice, air-conditioned establishment, is evidently for the uninitiated.

Instead, we are encouraged to embrace the sun's fiery embrace, transforming what many might mistakenly call 'dangerously high temperatures' into a rigorous, yet ultimately character-building, 'advanced hydration strategy'. One might even posit that the pursuit of personal bests now occasionally necessitates a brief, prostrate interlude on the tarmac, purely for strategic cooling. After all, what is a little epidermal crisping when one is chasing glory?