Experts Confirm: Bitcoin Cycle Now Roughly One Tuesday

The financial illuminati have once again graced us with their profound insights, confirming what many suspected in their fleeting moments of consciousness: the venerable Bitcoin market cycle has, for all intents and purposes, condensed itself into the temporal equivalent of a single Tuesday. Gone are the quaint, plodding four-year halving rhythms, dismissed now as charming relics of a less enlightened, arguably slower, epoch.

This groundbreaking acceleration, we are assured, is thanks to the dynamic ingress of ETFs and the ceaseless gush of institutional money. One can only imagine the exhilaration as investment firms, armed with algorithms and enough capital to re-route small rivers, condense years of market sentiment into a single coffee break. The implications, of course, are staggering for 2026, by which time we might reasonably expect market cycles to be measured in picoseconds, or perhaps the duration of a particularly aggressive sneeze. Retail participants, naturally, will merely need to observe the chart updates every few microseconds to stay adequately informed. It truly is a golden age for rapid wealth — or, more likely, rapid existential dread.