Envoy's Alleged Invisible Money Holdings Alarm Senate

The esteemed members of the Senate Democrats have reportedly been gripped by a peculiar consternation: the alleged continued existence of former envoy Steve Witkoff's *invisible money*. Specifically, his purported affinity for various cryptocurrency firms, including the rather aptly named WLFI, has sent a shiver down the collective spine of Washington, where financial transparency usually involves offshore accounts and opaque trusts, not digital phantoms.

The core of the issue, it seems, is Witkoff's audacious decision to retain assets that don't neatly fit into a physical vault or a traditional stock portfolio. Lawmakers are reportedly concerned that these ethereal holdings, which presumably cannot be physically seized or even properly *gazed* upon, might somehow violate federal ethics laws. One shudders to think what other intangible concepts Witkoff might be covertly hoarding. Perhaps he's collecting thoughts? Or even good intentions? The sheer anarchy of it all is truly baffling to those accustomed to more tangible forms of wealth acquisition and obfuscation.