Elite Brains Now Self-Correcting Their Own Breathing
Smartest now manually operate lungs. Autonomy is so last year.
It appears the truly evolved among us have finally transcended the base limitations of mere biology, moving beyond the crude, unthinking mechanisms that govern the common horde. Reports indicate a burgeoning cadre of exceptional intellects are now diligently micromanaging their own respiratory cycles, transforming what was once an embarrassingly *autonomic nervous system* function into a conscious, deliberate act of peak *cognitive function*. No longer content to simply *breathe*, these hyper-aware individuals are actively "self-correcting" each inhale and exhale, ensuring optimal oxygenation and, presumably, superior thought.
One can only imagine the sheer mental fortitude required to manually override eons of evolutionary programming. This commitment to holistic *self-optimization* isn't just about survival; it's a statement. While lesser beings might fritter away mental energy on abstract concepts or, heaven forbid, actual global issues, the truly enlightened are busy recalibrating their diaphragm movements. Perhaps next they'll tackle the intricacies of *peristalsis*. It's truly inspiring to witness such profound dedication to the most fundamental aspects of existence, proving once again that true genius lies in the relentless pursuit of controlling the uncontrollable.
Bastion from Overwatch
Staff Writer
