Digital Stores Incapable Of Handling Game That Doesn't Exist

Reports are flooding in this morning detailing the catastrophic failure of major digital storefronts, including Steam and the ever-reliable Nintendo eShop. The cause? An unprecedented surge of demand for a product that, according to all verifiable reality, simply does not exist. Players, it seems, have collectively decided that today was the day to download Hollow Knight: Silksong, a title whose release date remains perpetually etched in the ether of speculative forums.

The technical woes are reportedly widespread, with users encountering every conceivable error code when attempting to purchase, download, or even simply *imagine* installing the eagerly anticipated non-game. This digital tantrum perfectly illustrates the modern consumer's unwavering commitment to buying things they can't have, or more impressively, things that haven't been made yet. It begs the question: how much server infrastructure is truly needed to host a void?

Sources familiar with the non-situation, possibly from Ars Technica writers who clearly have too much time on their hands, suggest that the digital apocalypse could continue indefinitely. After all, if the systems can't handle zero bytes of data, what hope do we have for actual games?