D.C. Erects Gold Statue For Man Who Can Count To Four

In a move that surely cements the capital’s commitment to... *something*, a towering 14-foot gold effigy of Changpeng Zhao, founder of Binance, has taken its rightful place in Washington D.C.. Tourists and pigeons alike will now crane their necks to behold not a founding father, but a monument to a man whose most enduring legacy, apparently, is his mastery of rudimentary enumeration: the iconic four-finger gesture.

This gleaming tribute, painstakingly rendered in gold, is said to symbolize 'resilience.' One can only presume this refers to the resilience required to navigate the Byzantine world of digital assets, or perhaps the sheer stamina needed to repeatedly hold up four digits for the cameras. It certainly sets a new, glittering standard for public art, potentially inspiring future generations to immortalize their own equally profound achievements, like remembering where they left their keys or successfully folding a fitted sheet.