Consensus Reality Canceled Until Further Notice

The latest pronouncement from the ethereal powers-that-be, presumably delivered via a heavily redacted tweetstorm, confirms that what we once quaintly referred to as consensus reality has been indefinitely postponed. Apparently, its continued existence was causing undue stress among certain influential demographics, who found its rigid adherence to observable phenomena rather inconvenient. One might even argue it was actively undermining strategic messaging efforts.

With the very fabric of shared understanding now officially optional, the ensuing scramble for narrative dominance promises to be a thrilling spectacle. Imagine a world where every morning brings not a sunrise, but a fresh referendum on the very concept of photons. This glorious post-truth era ensures that even the definition of "source" is currently undergoing a rigorous, and entirely subjective, re-evaluation.

While the concept of fact-checking seems poised to join the dodo and affordable healthcare in the annals of quaint, bygone notions, fear not. The new paradigm simply means everyone gets to be their own supreme arbiter of truth, armed with nothing but conviction and a robust internet connection. As for the lingering adherents to old-fashioned objectivity, perhaps a quiet corner of the Internet Archive might still hold some dusty, un-redefined historical documents for their perusal.