Bitcoin market collapses, confirming money is just made up

The latest digital currency apocalypse has seen Bitcoin plummet to a mere five-figure sum, a dizzying descent from its previously inexplicable heights. It appears the collective delusion that conferred immense value upon these particular strings of computer code has momentarily wavered, revealing the delightful fragility of consensus-based wealth. One might almost suspect that when enough people decide something is worth less, it inexplicably *becomes* worth less. A fascinating economic principle, that.

Financial analysts are now gleefully pointing to the "dead bodies" surfacing from previous market carnage, presumably referring to the shattered dreams of those who believed in immutable code over, say, tangible assets. It seems these spectral remains have a habit of dragging down the living. Perhaps it’s a valuable lesson in the ephemeral nature of all value, especially when it exists primarily as a ledger entry on a distributed network. Who knew that making up numbers and agreeing they’re worth something could be so volatile?