Bessent: Tariff Refunds Would Hurt Treasury By Existing

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, a man clearly burdened by the sheer inconvenience of fiscal accountability, recently elucidated a truly groundbreaking economic principle: the act of returning unlawfully collected funds constitutes an existential threat to the national coffers. Speaking with the gravitas typically reserved for announcing the apocalypse, Bessent conveyed his steadfast belief that the nation’s Treasury Department would suffer an unconscionable indignity should it be forced to relinquish money that, by all accounts, never rightfully belonged to it in the first place. The implication, of course, is that the government’s piggy bank must remain inviolate, even if stuffed with pocket change pilfered from unsuspecting citizens via questionable tariffs.

His confidence in the Trump administration prevailing at the Supreme Court on this matter was absolute, presumably because the concept of judicial oversight is merely a suggestion in the new economic orthodoxy. Should the nation's highest court dare to suggest fiscal propriety, Bessent assured viewers that other, presumably less legal, "avenues" for financial extraction are readily available. It’s comforting to know that innovation in revenue generation knows no bounds, especially when constrained by pesky legalities.