Barron Trump College Move Confirms Parents Aware Of His Existence

The revelation that Barron Trump is reportedly pursuing higher education has undoubtedly sent shockwaves of bewildered recognition through certain quarters. Sources close to the situation suggest that his parents, Donald Trump and Melania Trump, have apparently acknowledged this pivotal life event, perhaps even providing a verbal affirmation or, dare we imagine, a signed permission slip for his chosen college.

One can only speculate on the profound, long-gestating "bond" that must have blossomed just in time for this momentous transition. It’s certainly a heartwarming, if somewhat belated, confirmation that even the most rarefied offspring occasionally require a change of scenery, perhaps even an introduction to the concept of a shared laundry room. The nation holds its breath, not for his academic pursuits, but for the next public acknowledgment that a teenager lives among us.