Bank of England Protects Citizens From Excessive Stability

In a bold move to shield the populace from the perilous allure of cutting-edge financial instruments, the Bank of England has magnanimously proposed a £20,000 ceiling on individual stablecoin holdings. This forward-thinking initiative ensures that no citizen shall accidentally accumulate too much personal financial autonomy or, worse yet, engage in excessive innovation. Clearly, the greatest threat to a nation's economic health is not stagnation, but rather the uncontrolled proliferation of novel monetary forms.

Indeed, why risk the unpredictable dynamism of the burgeoning digital finance landscape when one can simply ensure everyone remains within a comfortably predictable, centrally managed box? Critics, those perennial purveyors of disruptive ideas, might fret about the UK’s global competitiveness or the stifling of financial technology. But surely, a well-regulated, albeit intentionally limited, market is far superior to one where individuals might independently explore new avenues for value transfer, like, say, with stablecoin technology. We wouldn't want anyone getting *too* far ahead, would we?