AirPods Pro 3 Now 0.003% Smaller, Cost Same $249

It appears that Apple has once again redefined "innovation" with its latest iteration of the AirPods Pro. Enthusiasts can now rejoice in a design so imperceptibly miniscule, it’s practically a quantum leap in ergonomics, reducing the device by a staggering 0.003%. One can only imagine the sheer effort required in Cupertino to shave off that microscopic fraction of a millimeter, all while ensuring the price remains a reassuring constant at $249. Truly, a testament to unwavering brand consistency.

The new "enhanced" noise cancellation promises to silence not just the clamour of urban life, but potentially your own internal monologue, leading to a profound, if somewhat unsettling, sense of peace. And for those who feared their AirPods weren't sufficiently integrated into their biological functions, the new heart-rate monitoring feature ensures your earbuds are now intimately aware of your cardiovascular status. Perhaps it’s to prepare users for the inevitable palpitations brought on by discovering next year’s 0.004% reduction, for the same price, naturally.